dear blog

its been 3 meaningful years since i pause my blog..all that i have been through..happiness and sorrow..tears and chuckles..rain and sun..everything..biar aku dan mereka je yg tahu..

another Why

you came to my working place..

while i'm busy handling party..

i saw you talking with one of the staff..

and then you were gone..

when my work finished..

you were already home..

I asked you why did you came?

and you said "melawat"..

is it me that you visit?

or is it my work place?

hahaha..so funny..

but again...WHY

pengalaman tak ternilai

assalamualaikum

..for this time..i wanna share some golden experience that i had and i am doing at this current moment..ini pengalaman yang memang eja takkan dapat kat mana2 like seriously..and may be bukan semua orang yang boleh dapat experience ni..

since i have poor vocab and bad bad grammar..saya tak kisah la..saya nak cakap campur english malay jugak!..and i know you guys will understand what am i going to say..

i'm working as a substitute teacher at my dad's school..SMK aminuddin baki, chemor..since ada cikgu yang bercuti akibat bersalin...tapi saya bukan gunakan abah saya sebagai kabel okay..saya apply secara telus..guna online apply kat PPD kalau ada yang minat..dan saya ajar pendidikan khas..iaitu pelajar masalah pembelajaran..contoh nya macam yang sindrome down tu..

this is not the first time i meet them..ada jugak la ikut abah bawak depa p main bowling lah..kadang2 tu amik antar abah p skolah..so ada la nampak depa2 ni...

at the first time when i step in the class..hati saya tersentuh...kalau korang tengok yang tahap 1, 2, 3 tu..muka diorang normal...tak nampak macam depa ni special..but when i start my conversation with them..then i know..tapi kalau tahap 4 and 5 tu..agak nampak lah pada raut wajah mereka..ada yang kita kena dengar betul2 apa depa nak cakap..kadang2 ada yang meragam..ada yang tak tau urus diri sendiri..ada yang tak ada bahasa pon..yang dia tau..smile..but luckily when i asked them..they understand me..

yang buat saya lagi tersentuh..we can see their curiosity and big effort in something .macam ada sehari tu eja ajar depa KHB..dalam masa sejam setengah..kami cuma bincang pasal sudip, pisau, dan pengupas..tapi end up sempat bincang pasal sudip ngan pengupas je sebab dah habis waktu kelas..

bila perhimpunan dan rehat..kami bawak depa..depa jalan berkumpulan..ada sekali tu..ada 1 student ni..dia panggil saya duk sebelah dia..bila saya duduk..dia peluk and sandar kat bahu saya..hurmmm..takkan nak nangis kat depan dia..hahaha...

depa ni memang macam2..semua lain2 and kita akan kenal every single perangai depa..hat yang ni duk tau nak mintak buku nak salin ja..yang tu pulak tau nak warna je..yang lagi 1 duk Tan Cheng Lok dia ja..

but as for someone like me..i really don't mind to work in this kind of environment..and i'm going to miss them bila saya dah tak de kat sana lagi dah...orang cakap "alah..kerja senang ajar pendidikan khas"..yes it was so easy sebab tak ikut silibus budak perdana..tapi perlukan kesabaran..teruk punya sabar..

this is my long long journey (Ep 1)

sampai je KLIA..and after meeting with ustaz Hassan..our group leader (he's actually the owner of HBY travel and tours!..sebab "Hassan Bin Yatim)..check in and load our bags untuk masuk bawah perut kapal terbang...)and as usual my activity..sumbat telinga dengan mp3..main word search..

after 8 hours flying..we're safely arrive at Kuwait airport..and kena transit for 8 hours!..so they provide us with hotel room..it was nice..ummm...3 bintang punya room la kalau eja nak rate..and i get my own room..no sharing..hehehe..picture above is me and my nenek at the hotel lobby..baru lepas lunch and nak tunggu bas pick up untuk bawak p airport balik..its just for 2 hours flight to jeddah

taadaaaa..we're at King Abdul Aziz airport, Jeddah..its actually dah dekat dah dengan Mekah..dalam 2 jam perjalanan darat..tapi the Ustaz dah arranged yang kami p Madinah dulu and stay there for 3 days..but as for me..better macam tu..sebab shopping kat madinah lagi best..the stuffs are more variety and a lot cheaper than Mecca..Nabi Muhammad S.A.W pon suruh kita shopping kat madinah..sebab keturunan dia kat madinah..so kita tolong keturunan nabi tau..

naik double decker bus and i choose front seat..dah lemau sangat..malas nak duk belakang..lagi pun saya jakun nak tengok jalan and journey on the bus took us 5 hours!..(jeddah - madiah 400++ km tau)

FYI..arab2 kat madinah ni gatal! (betul la cakap orang2 yang dah pergi)..masa dekat kedai jubah, kedai kurma, kedai minyak wangi, kedai sejadah..semua duk mashaAllah...mashaAllah...mashaAllah..lagi2 kalau that girl pakai baju yang warna warni...depa boring kut..pompuan arab duk pakai jubah hitam..masa kat kedai sejadah tu..eja siap kena peluk and siap suruh duduk sana ngan dia!..blergh..tapi yang untung nya pulak..eja banyak dapat diskaun and free gift..hahaha..and my abah, mama and nenek pon apa lagi..guna habis2 anak dara depa yang sorang ni..bukan guna apa pon..just suruh eja cakap arab sikit2 and then mintak la diskaun..ada 1 kedai minyak wangi tu..abah dapat beli dengan harga 30 Ryal..padahal asal nya minyak wangi tu harga120 ryal!..hahahaha..

since nama pon umrah dan ziarah..kat madinah ni ziarah je dulu..makan nabi kat madinah..so kita mai la madinah..nabi pon kata..kita ni kalau p umrah..tak singgah madinah lawat nabi..kita ni macam nak avoid dia..and even dia dah wafat..kalau dia lawat dia..sama macam kita lawat dia masa dia hidup..subhanallah

 

masa kat madinah ni kami p lawat masjid 2 kiblat  (qiblatain) and ladang anggur..tapi tak dak buah..depa baru keluar bunga..kalau nak tau sejarah kenapa dia masjid qiblatain ni..sebelum kaabah jadi kiblat orang islam..depa guna baitul-maqdis as kiblat..tapi nabi doa doa doa kat tuhan berbulan2..and sampai la masa nabi p rumah satu sahabat dia sebab ada makan2 sikit..turun la ayat dari tuhan untuk tukar arah kiblat tu..actually asalnya masjid qiblatain ni rumah sahabat tu..so depa pusing 180 darjah untuk tukar kiblat tu..

p/s: nabi muhammad kekasih Allah pon doa berbulan nak mintak kat tuhan..so jangan la aspect tuhan nak makbulkan doa kita laa ni jugak..

alhamdulillah..hotel kami dekat je dengan masjid nabawi..so nak berjalan kaki tu tak menjadi masalah..tapi tapi tapi..eja tak dapat masuk Raudhah..orang terlalu lalu lalu ramai..kami kena lalu banyak stage untuk p sana..adter a few stages..eja undur diri sebab tak sanggup dah..bukan putus asa..cuma belum ada rezeki..can you imagine..yang nak masuk tu berasak2 sampai ada yang pengsan2..on top of that..the most thing I have to take care of my mommy, nenek and adik..actually dah betul2 nak sampai dah..gambar tu..itu kubah hijau tu..bawah tu makan Nabi tau..sikit sangat sangat lagi..tapi tak pe..i'll come back and try again..

yada yada yada

there was one time..
when we were at Kinokuniya...
I have no idea why my heart beating so fast..
super fast..and i'm shaking..
(this is the second time..)

is that the reason of my WHY??
but I hate that..cuz i'm super curious..

when we were on our going back to ipoh..
i was actually can't sleep..
we were leaning on each other's shoulder..
until one point you put your arm on my belly..
don't you know how happy i am..infinity
but i just keep on thinking..
"did you do the same thing with your another -friend-??"
seriously i didn't sleep even for single second..
and i just keep on wondering why and why and why

you may act fierce, strong, ego, and yada yada yada infront of me..
but i can feel your gentle, soft, manja side when you were half asleep..

this such a unique rare ***ship..

when people ask me..
I have no idea how to define our relationship..
definitely I can't say we are lover..
but as for me it may be more than friend..
because I don't do things I done to you with my friend..
but IDK if you did..sokay..let you be

I don't think to find anyone either let my self to be found by someone..
I just love us..I mean our ***ship..

I hope we will remain in this type of ***ship
even for forever cuz I just don't care..

you really dont need to read this..cuz you'll be regret when you read them

WHY and WHY and WHY..
i keep thinking...
happy..happier..happiest..
but suddenly you asking me to find a boyfriend..
(so that i can forget you)
why don't you be the one that find a new girlfriend..

i never thought to find or search any one..
cuz i'm happy with every thing i have..(including you)..
i never thought to have any further relationship with you..
sebab apa yang ada masa tu dah cukup buat aku gembira bila dengan kau..
i know it was very NOthing for you..but its EVERYthing to me..
and I really hope that it will last forever..
cuz i think we're cool with that..
tak sangka kau pikir pasal benda2 tipikal ni jugak..
and at last..you leave me hanging..
everyday i'm waiting like hell..
i stalk your page..
i read our messages..
but i didn't ask any of your friend about you even though i can..

after a few months i live my life with out getting any news from you..
and i heal my wound by my own..
finally i get over you..(even I still keep on thinking about you in every single time)..
all of sudden you call me and ask "how are you"..

that is WHY and WHY and WHY...

there's this girl

there is an ordinary little girl..

who some times..

unable to speak with proper grammar..

unable to make a right choice..

unable to serve good cook..

unable to dress well..

unable to put nice eye shadow..

unable to remember the song Light singer..

unable to talk smoothly..

unable to sing Fiona apple's song

unable to give correct answer..

unable to decide on what color to wear..
unable to behave like a person..
unable to give help..
unable to sleep nightly..
unable to face hard time..
unable to take care of her belongings..

but there is this same little girl..

with huge little heart..

with big big dream..

to win other big soul..

my niece yang baju purple tu..2 months old at that time..nothing much to say..just welcome to the adventure world baby..i know you are the strongest one among all "THEM"..so prove it..jadi anak solehah kepada abang saya..and the most important is..jangan tergedik2 mengada2 macam budak2 spoiled tu..okay..so that auntie will love you more

lap lap lap

lap tu maksudnye lap habuk lah..blog ni dah setengah tahun tak berusik..ade la eja bukak..but just as a visitor..not as the owner..oh "MENGEJA BERSAMA EJA"..sorry la..saya tak bertanggungjawab..may be jugak sebab dah ada twitter..so apa dalam kepala semua post dan dan tu gak...memang tak sesuai la kalau 5 minit sekali eja bukak blog and post 1 ayat or buat muka macam ni =_____= je..memang mintak kena pukul la ni kan..so far my life is so good..kawan, keluarga dan masyarakat sekeliling being quite nice to me..

after 7 bulan tak blog-blog..banyak gak benda baru jadi..1st thing is saya dah jadi auntie!! nama baby Hijratul Jannah Bt Mohd Hafiz..mmm nak suruh dia panggil apa? cadang panggil mummy jaaa....sebab dia panggil mak dia as ibu..so sebelum ada anak sendiri yang kita pon tak tau ada rezeki tuhan nak bagi ke tak...so siap 2 la untuk dipanggil mummy..atleast kalau ditakdirkan eja tak de anak..ada la anak sedara panggil mummy..

why did i said that? because i dont feel like i am afford to have a kids..ye la..kahwin pon belum tentu..ada ke orang nak? then there are so much thing in my own list which is marriage is the last one thing..ini kan pulak anak..bukan nak lawan takdir tuhan..just being more positive.. so that saya tak kan meroyan dan salah kan takdir kalau apa2 jadi kat saya..=)